Santa and The Boy Who Cried Wolf

It was 1981. I had been asked to give my Stress Management series to a Sunday school class of 120 traditional parents and grandparents. Half-way through the session on holiday stress, a wall came up between me and the group when they thought I said they were lying to their kids about Santa Claus. My mind started searching for an exit strategy.

That’s when a gray-haired woman stood up and turned to her friends and peers saying, “I want to tell you what happened this year with my granddaughter. She came to me and said, ‘Mommy and Daddy said there was a Santa Claus and there really wasn’t, and they said there was an Easter Bunny and there really wasn’t, and they said there was a Tooth Fairy and there really wasn’t. Now they’re telling me there is a Jesus Christ and a God. Grandma, is there really a Jesus Christ and a God?’”

She sat down. Nobody said anything. My goose bumps felt huge. It was so profound and so elegantly, yet simply, stated. During the next few minutes I gently went on with the program as the room seemed to heal of its hostility.

I have shared this account with every health class I’ve taught from that day to this. One year I realized the grandmother was actually re-telling the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. The traditional parents play the role of the Boy, their kids are the town’s folk, and the three fake wolves are Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. The ‘real’ wolf is the message we want our kids to believe forever. For the parents of the granddaughter, it was teaching her that there is a Jesus Christ and a God.

We want our kids to trust us, but we may have trained them not to. And the sad thing, at least in the case of Santa Claus, is that kids learn more about getting presents and demanding what they want their parents to buy them, than they learn about giving.

Here is a solution I offer to my college students that I believe is a win-win-win: kids love to pretend. Next Christmas, include them in the Santa myth. “Let’s play Santa and his helpers this year. Who wants to be Santa? I know some people that would love some cookies and a Christmas card. Let’s all make treats and take them over to the Elder House.”

Your children will grow up experiencing the joy of giving to those who can’t give much more than a tearful smile of appreciation. “When can we do that again, Mom? That was fun!”